Political Correctness For Kids
Author(s) Unknown - I claim no credit
- Your bedroom isn't cluttered
- it's "passage-restrictive."
- Kids don't get in trouble anymore.
- They merely hit "social speed bumps."
- You're not having a bad hair day;
- you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."
- No one's tall anymore.
- They're "vertically enhanced."
- You're not shy.
- You're "conversationally selective."
- You don't talk a lot.
- You're just "abundantly verbal."
- It's not called gossip anymore.
- It's "transmission of near-factual information."
- The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful.
- It's "digestively challenged."
- Your homework isn't missing;
- it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."
- You're not sleeping in class;
- you're "rationing consciousness."
- You don't have smelly gym socks;
- you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."
- You weren't passing notes in class.
- You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."
- You're not being sent to the principal's office.
- You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."
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