Politically Correct Kids

Your bedroom isn't cluttered: it's "passage-restrictive."
Kids don't get in trouble anymore.: They merely hit "social speed bumps."
You're not having a bad hair day;: you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."
No one's tall anymore.: They're "vertically enhanced."
You're not shy.: You're "conversationally selective."
You don't talk a lot.: You're just "abundantly verbal."
It's not called gossip anymore.
It's "transmission of near-factual information."
The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful.
It's "digestively challenged."
Your homework isn't missing;: it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."
You're not sleeping in class;: you're "rationing consciousness."
You don't have smelly gym socks;: you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."
You weren't passing notes in class.: You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."
You're not being sent to the principal's office.: You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."

Political Correctness For Kids