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Political Correctness For Kids

Author(s) Unknown - I claim no credit

Your bedroom isn't cluttered
it's "passage-restrictive."
Kids don't get in trouble anymore.
They merely hit "social speed bumps."
You're not having a bad hair day;
you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."
No one's tall anymore.
They're "vertically enhanced."
You're not shy.
You're "conversationally selective."
You don't talk a lot.
You're just "abundantly verbal."
It's not called gossip anymore.
It's "transmission of near-factual information."
The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful.
It's "digestively challenged."
Your homework isn't missing;
it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."
You're not sleeping in class;
you're "rationing consciousness."
You don't have smelly gym socks;
you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."
You weren't passing notes in class.
You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."
You're not being sent to the principal's office.
You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."

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