You might belong to a country church if:

Found at nebr.humor

• The doors are never locked
• The Call to Worship is "Y'all come on in"
• Folks mumble about Noah letting coyotes on the Ark
• The Preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to take up the offering" and five guys stand up
• The restroom is outside
• Opening day of deer hunting season is recognized as an official church holiday
• A member requests to be buried in his four- wheel drive truck because he ain't never been in a hole his truck couldn't get him out of
• In the annual stewardship drive, there is at least one pledge of two calves
• Never in its entire 100-year history has any pastor had to buy meat or vegetables
• Everybody smiles when it rains, and prayers about the weather are part of every worship service
• There's a singing group known as "The O.K.Chorale"
• The church directory doesn't need last names
• The pastor wears boots
• Four generations of one family sit together in worship every Sunday
• The only time people lock their cars in the parking lot is during the summer - and then only so their neighbors can't leave them a bag of squash
• There is no such thing as anybody having a "secret" sin
• Baptism is referred to as "branding"
• There is a fund-raiser for a new septic tank
• Finding and returning lost livestock is not just a parable
• You miss worship one Sunday morning and by 2 o'clock that afternoon you have had a dozen phone calls inquiring about your health
• High notes on the organ set dogs in the parking lot to howling
• Members wonder when Jesus fed the 5,000 whether the two fish were bass or catfish.

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