I like him; he reminds me of when I was young and
stupid.
I would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
I'd like to buy him for what he's worth and
sell him for what he thinks he's worth.
I've worn dresses with higher IQs than his.
If brains were bird droppings, he'd have a clean
cage.
If brains were chocolate, he wouldn't have enough
for an M&M.
If brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough
to blow her nose / her hat off / the wax out of her
ears.
If brains were gasoline, he couldn't ride a moped
around a fruit loop.
If brains were grains of sand, he couldn't fill a
dixie cup.
If brains were lard, he'd be hard pressed to grease
a small pan.
If brains were leather, he couldn't saddle a flea.
If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
If brains were water, hers wouldn't be enough to
baptize a flea.
If dumb were dirt, he'd be an acre.
If fashion law is ever enforced, he'll be found
guilty without hope of parole.
If God tried to help him, we'd have an eight day
week.
If he didn't exist, he wouldn't be worth
inventing.
If he donated his brain to science it'd set
civilization back 50 years.
If he gets any denser, the geocentric theory of the
universe will come true.
If he had a lobotomy he'd depressurize.
If he had another brain (cell), it would be lonely.
If he had brains, he'd take them out and play with
them.
If he had console lights, we would see only the idle
loop patterns.
If he were an Indian, Custer would be alive today /
would have died of old age.
If he were any brighter he'd be in the visible
spectrum.
If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered
twice a week.
If her brains were put in a hummingbird, it would fly
backwards.
If his brain were a hard drive, it would back up on a
single floppy.
If his brains were money, he'd still be in debt.
If his IQ was two points higher he'd be a rock.
If ignorance were bliss, she'd be orgasmic.
If it's not in his horoscope/tea leaves, he
doesn't take it seriously.
If men were dominoes, he would be the double-blank. --
P.G. Wodehouse
If she had a disk drive we could upgrade her with DOS
3.0.
If she was any dumber, she'd be a green plant.
If stupidity hurt, he'd go through life on a
morphine drip.
If stupidity were a crime, he'd be number one on
the Most Wanted list.
If the government ever declared war on stupidity,
he'd get nuked.
If there were a merciful God he'd be dead by now.
If they each had half a brain, they'd still only
have half a brain.
If they knock heads, implosion will suck all the air
out of the room.
If what you don't know can't hurt you,
she's practically invulnerable.
If you called him a wit, you'd be half right.
If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you get
change back.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the
ocean.
Ignorant, and proud of it.
Immune from any serious head injury.
Immune to caffeine and all other stimulants.
In a tub of Preparation H, he'd shrink down to
thumb size.
In his optimum environment, he'd be locked in a
life and death struggle with mushrooms.
In line for brains, thought they said pains, and said,
"No, thanks".
In line for brains, thought they said trains, and asked
for one with lots of steam / said his dad just bought
him one.
In line for brains, thought they said were handing out
milkshakes, and he asked for "extra thick."
In need of a ROM upgrade.
In serious need of attitude adjustment.
In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little
farther apart than most.
In the shopping mall of the mind, he's in the toy
store.
In touch with her higher power, but out of touch with
the rest of us.
Includes a "thank you" note with her tax
returns.
Infinite space between her ears.
Informationally deprived.
Inhabits her own private timezone.
Inspected by #13.
Inspired the slogan, "A mind is a terrible thing
to waste."
Intellectually/synaptically challenged.
Intelligence somewhere between a pet rock and egg
white.
Invented a pencil with an eraser on each end.
Invented a submarine with a screen door.
IQ = dx / (1 + dx), where x = age.
IQ lower than a snake's belly in a wagon-rut.
It's hard to believe he beat 100,000 other sperm.
Just another flash in the bedpan.
Just asleep, but others worry that he's dead.
Keeps her brain in mint condition.
Keeps his imagination on a long leash.
Kept an open mind -- and his brains fell out.
Keywords: generalizations clue get
Knitting with only one needle.
Knows his sports, but his understanding is limited to
violence.
Landed with his gear/brain up and locked.
Leaky sunroof.
Left hand threaded.
Left his booster on the launch pad.
Left the store without all of his groceries.
Leveled off before reaching altitude.
Life by Norman Rockwell, but screenplay by Stephen
King.
Lightbulb over his head is burned out.
Lights / porch lights are on but nobody's home.
Lights not burning too bright.
Like a barometer -- vacuum at the top.
Like a loose-leaf folder in winter.
Like a one-armed man climbing a rope.
Likes dunking for french fries.
Likes to execute his data.
Little red choo-choo's gone chugging 'round the
bend / jumped the track.
Lives in La-la-land.
Lives in the same world, but a different universe.
Lives just up the street from the corner of Walk and
Don't Walk.
Living proof of Einstein's theory that there is no
limit to human stupidity.
Living proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Living proof that God did die back in the 60s.
Living proof that God has a sense of humor.
Living proof that nature does not abhor a vacuum.
Living proof that there's ALWAYS someone worse off
than you.
Long on drywall, short on studs.
Looking for a nickel in the corner of a circular room.
Looks for the "Any" key.
Looks just like Bill Gates.
Loose chip on the microprocessor board.
Loose wire to his headset/ringer.
Lost his marbles.
Lots of silverware on his table, but no plates.
Loves a good insult, but can never remember any.
Low on thinking gas.
Low-bandwidth as an information source.
Luckily these types kill themselves before
reproducing... Think of it as evolution in action. --
Larry Niven
Lugnuts rattling in the hubcaps.
Made a career out of mid-life crisis.
Mainspring's wound too tight.
Makes a black hole look bright.
Makes predictions that make weathermen/economists look
good.
Meandering to a different drummer.
Memorized every Dr. Seuss story written.
Mental software is Version 1.0 / still in beta test.
Mentally qualified for handicapped parking.
Metronome needs oil.
Might look like he's doing nothing, but at the
cellular level he's really quite busy.
Mind like a steel sieve.
Mind like a steel trap -- everything gets mangled /
full of mice / nothing in, nothing out / rusted shut /
someday it will snap shut and swallow his face.
Missed her last four scheduled tune-ups.
Missed the last train to Clue Junction. -- Rev Billy
Wirtz
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
Missing a few catalog cards / gears / marbles.
Missing a layer of insulation in his attic.
Monorail doesn't go all the way to Tomorrowland.
Mooring lines don't reach the dock.
More armpits than brain cells.
More marbles in a spray-paint can than brains in his
head.
Mouth is in gear, brain is in neutral.
Moves his lips to pretend he's reading.
Must have ignored a knock-down pitch.
Nearly lives up to her full potential as a dumb blond.
Nearly on a higher plane, but lost his boarding pass.
Needed a tutor to learn how to scribble.
Needs a checkup from the neck up.
Needs a little remedial evolution.
Needs a stepladder to pick his nose.
Needs an operating manual for a screwdriver.
Needs another brain to make half-wit.
Needs front end alignment.
Needs his disk checked/reformatted.
Needs his sleeves lengthened by a couple of feet so
they can be tied in the back.
Neither left-brained nor right-brained. -- Bob Thaves
Network constantly loses packets.
Neurons are firing non-sequentially.
Never finishes a thoug
Never had a headcold in her life since diseases
can't exist in a vacuum.
Never misses an episode of her screensaver.
Next-day delivery in a nanosecond world. -- Van
Jacobson
Nice color but not enough wattage.
Nice house but not much furniture / nobody lives there.
Nine rooms; no furniture.
Nineteen cents short of a paradigm.
No bubble in his gauge. (Refers to a submarine dive
gauge.)
No charge in her synapses.
No coins in the old fountain.
No filter in the coffeemaker.
No grain in the silo.
No hands on the rudder/yoke.
No hay in the loft.
No one at the throttle.
No ROM basic.
No wind in her mind's windmills.
Not all his dogs are barking.
Not an idiot, but plays one in his life.
Not as dumb as he looks, but that would be impossible.
Not digging in the same ditch with the rest of us.
Not done evolving yet.
Not enough brain cells for the Prozac to be effective.
Not enough brains to get anywhere NEAR the gutter.
Not enough bullets for Russian Roulette.
Not enough change to break a
dollar/pound/deutschmark/yen.
Not enough sense to come in out of the rain.
Not enough sense to stay out in the rain. (Like a
60's flower child.)
Not firing on all four/six/eight cylinders.
Not firmly seated in the socket / screwed in tight.
Not hard-docked.
Not inflated to 90 PSI / head is stamped "inflate
to 40 PSI".
Not Intel Inside. (Or, given Pentium problems, just:
Intel inside.)
Not just off-base -- he's out of the stadium.
Not much to show for four billion years of evolution.
Not only rude, but ugly too.
Not playing with / dealing from a full deck (-- not
even in the game).
Not ready for prime time.
Not running on full thrusters.
Not shooting pool on a level table.
Not so much of a has-been, as a won't-be.
Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree / light in
the harbor / crayon in the box.
Not the full quid.
Not the same since they took him off his medication.
Not the sharpest knife/spoon in the drawer / tool in
the shed / nail in the box / quill on the porcupine /
pencil in the box.
Not wrapped too tight.
Nothing between the stethoscopes.
Nothing on her radar.
Numb as a post / pounded thumb.
Nutty as a fruitcake.
Of all the things he's lost, he misses his mind the
most.
Off by one.
Off his rocker/trolley.
Oil doesn't reach his dipstick.
On permanent/unexcused leave of absence from his
senses.
On the batting end of a no-hitter.
One anna short of a rupee.
One bead short in her rosary.
One bean short of chili.
One bean shy of full strength.
One beer short of a six-pack / a six-pack short of a
case.
One bird short of a flock.
One bit short of a byte/word.
One blade short of a sharp edge. -- Nanci Griffith
One block short of a filesystem.
One board short of a porch.
One bomb/melon short of a full load.
One boot stuck in the sand.
One bottom short of a bucket.
One Brady short of a Bunch.
One brick short of a wall/hod/load/pile.
One bumper/rail short of a bank shot.
One bun/donut short of a dozen.
One byte short of a checksum.
One byte short of a full 256K SIMM.
One car short of a chase scene.
One card/marble short of a full deck.
One chapter short of a novel.
One chicken short of a henhouse.
One chip short of a cookie / megabyte / puddy
(Liverpudlian).
One citation short of a footnote.
One clearance short of landing/take off.
One clown short of a circus.
One clue short of a solution.
One cold solder joint.
One color short of a full deck. (A half-wit.)
One color short of color-coordinated.
One couplet short of a sonnet.
One course short of a degree. (As in: "I've
got a degree in home economics, but I was only one
course short of a degree in advanced nuclear
physics.")
One crayon short of a full box.
One crouton short of a salad.
One cup and saucer short of a place setting.
One cylinder short of a full re-format.
One dial short of a control panel.
One diamond short of a ring.
One dimension short of reality.
One doughnut short of being a cop.
One drool bib short of neat and tidy.
One drop short of an empty bladder.
One ear short of a bushel.
One expert short of an antitrust suit.
One feather short of a boa / whole duck.
One fish short of a string.
One floor below the poopdeck.
One flower short of an arrangement.
One flying buttress short of a cathedral.
One foot in the future, one foot in the past, pissing
on the present.
One french fry / hamburger short of a Happy Meal.
One Froot Loop (sic) short of a full bowl.
One fruit short of a basket.
One gene short of a full chromosome.
One goose short of a gaggle.
One grape short of a bunch.
One gunman shy of a posse.
One guppy short of an aquarium.
One handle short of a suitcase.
One harmonic short of a tubular bell.
One hot pepper short of an enchilada.
One inch short of a foot/yard.
One inspection short of passing.
One kangaroo short in her top paddock.
One kernel short of an ear.
One key short of a piano.
One kopek short of a ruble.
One link short of a chain.
One live brain cell away from being a talking monkey.
One marshmallow short of a s'more.
One measure short of a staff.
One miracle short of being where he thinks he's at.
One miracle wouldn't be enough to help him.
One monkey short of a full hundred.
One node short of a network.
One nut short of a full pouch.
One of the early failures of electroshock therapy.
One open splice.
One pancake short of a stack.
One pane short of a window.
One pea short of a pod/casserole.
One peak short of a chromatogram.
One pearl short of a necklace.
One pickle short of a jar.
One pie short of a holiday.
One plane short of an Air Force / hangar.
One planet short of a federation.
One point short of a polygon.
One prayer short of absolution.
One press short of a CAPS LOCK key. (Types all
uppercase.)
One punch/swing/hit short of a fight.
One quark short of a hadron.
One republic short of an empire.
One revision behind.
One sandwich/apple/ant short of a picnic.
One saucer short of a tea-service.
One scallop short of a seafood platter.
One screw loose.
One screw shy of a final assembly.
One sentence short of a paragraph.
One shade short of a rainbow.
One sheep short of a sweater.
One shingle short of a roof, and the water's
getting in.
One ship short of a full fleet.
One shrimp short of a barbie.
One side short of a pentagon.
One signature short of a book.
One slate short of a full roof.
One sleeve/button short of a shirt.
One snowflake short of a ski slope.
One sock short of a pair.
One song short of a musical.
One span short of a bridge.
One spoon short of a full set.
One steering wheel / bolt short of a Yugo.
One step short of the attic.
One stick short of a bundle.
One straw short of a bale.
One strawberry short of a quart.
One strike past being called out.
One sub short of a party platter.
One sultana short of a complete fruitcake.
One taco/enchilada/chalupa short of a
combination/Mexican plate.
One teabag short of a pot.
One tilde short of a full URL.
One tile missing from his space shuttle.
One tile short of a successful re-entry.
One too many lights out in his Christmas tree.
One too many rides on the Zipper.
One tower short of a castle.
One tree short of a hammock.
One vine short of the tree. (For Tarzan types.)
One volt below threshold.
One weight short of a shipwreck.
One word short of a.
One yard short of the hole.
Only occasionally wets himself under pressure.
Only one oar in the water.
Only opens his mouth to change feet.
Only playing with 51 cards.
Only playing with the jokers.
Operating in stand-by mode.
Organizationally impaired.
Ought to have a warning label on his forehead.
Out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
Out there where the buses don't run.
Outlet isn't grounded.
Over the rainbow.
Overdue for reincarnation.
Overruns above 110 baud.
Paged/swapped out.
Parallel mind, serial world.
Parallel world, serial mind.
Paralyzed from the neck up.
Parked his head and forgot where he left it.
Pedaling real fast, but not getting anywhere.
People around her are at risk of second hand idiocy.
Perfect chassis, bad driver.
Perfect percussionist for an acapella group (duh, duh,
duh...)
Perfect training subject for apprentice hypnotists.
Permanently out to lunch.
Permanently rotated 90 degrees from the rest of us.
Playing baseball with a rubber bat.
Playing hockey with a warped puck.
Playing Scrabble, but we can't figure out what
words he's building.
Plays pinochle with a poker deck.
Plays solitaire... For cash.
Plays tennis with no net and finds it challenging.
Plenty of salt in the shaker, but no holes in the cap.
Posts empty articles to the Net, and enjoys rereading
them later.
Prefers three left turns to one right turn.
Pressure's up, but there's a slow leak
somewhere.
Produces a zero-length core dump.
Programmed into an infinite loop.
Proud of his lawn mower.
Psycho pneumatic. (Crazy air head.)
Put a lens in each ear and you've got a telescope.
Put on Earth to be an oxygen converter.
Puts a finger in his ear so the draft through his head
isn't annoying.
Putting his brain on the edge of a razor blade would be
like putting a pea on a six lane highway.
Qualifies for the mental express line -- five thoughts
or less. -- MacNelly
Quotes entire letters/articles as responses and hides
her one line of wisdom in the middle.
Radio's playing but nobody's listening.
Reading from an empty/blank/unformatted disk.
Reads her newspaper back-to-front.
Reads Homer in the original Greek, but doesn't know
Greek.
Ready to join the Anti-Mensa Society.
Receiver is off the hook.
Relatively three-dimensional, as fictional characters
go.
Renewable energy source for hot air balloons.
Reposts this list when someone asks for it, but
it's an old copy.
Requires retraining after every coffee break.
Reset line is glitching.
Result of a first cousin marriage.
Result of God's experiments to see if humans can
function without a brain.
Room for rent, unfurnished.
Routinely outsmarted by cheese.
Roving target for a surface-to-idiot missile.
RS232C brain with a DIN connector.
Running at 300 baud.
Running lights are on but no one's at the helm.
Running on a 286.
Runs squares around the competition.
Rusty springs in the mousetrap.
S p a c e d o u t .
Sailboat fuel for brains.
Sat under the ozone hole too long.
Says profound things but no one listens and no harm is
done.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of
it.
Sending back packets, but the checksums are wrong.
Serving donuts on another planet.
Settled some during shipping and handling.
Seven cans short of a six-pack.
Seven seconds behind, and built to stay that way.
Several nuts over fruitcake minimum.
Sharp, like stone in river. Swift, like tree through
forest.
She believes the three great lies.
She fears success, but really has nothing to worry
about. -- Thaves
She has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.
She looks virtually real today.
She only packed half a sandwich.
She only schedules zombie processes.
She put the ding in dingbat.
She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B. -- Dorothy
Parker
She sets low personal standards and then consistently
fails them.
She sounds reasonable... Must be time to up my
medication.
She stopped to think and forgot to start again.
She wears a pony tail to cover up the valve stem.
She worries about the calories licking stamps and
envelopes.
She'll be just fine as soon as virtual reality
arrives.
She's all thumbs.
She's running real fast, but toward the wrong goal
line.
Shedding a little too much black light.
Short a few cards.
Short-circuited between the earphones.
Should be the poster child for family planning.
Should go far -- and the sooner he starts, the better.
Should have kept his helmet on while riding/playing.
Shouldn't be allowed to breed.
Shouldn't eat nuts -- for her, it's practically
cannibalism.
Single-sided, low density.
Sings along with elevator music.
Sitting in the right pew, but the wrong church.
Skating on the wrong side of the ice.
Skylight leaks a little.
Slept too close to his radium-dial watch.
Slinky's kinked.
Slow as molasses in January.
Slow out of the gate.
Slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut
butter.
Smoke doesn't make it to the top of his chimney.
So boring, his dreams have Muzak.
So clueless, he could BE God and still be an atheist.
So dim, his psychic carries a flashlight.
So dumb, blondes tell jokes about him.
So dumb, he faxes face up.
So dumb, he puts postage stamps on outgoing faxes.
So dumb, his dog teaches him tricks.
So far gone, hard drugs push him closer to normal.
So stupid, he tries to drown fish.
So stupid, mind readers charge her half price.
So stupid, she doesn't go further than Thursday.
So thick, he sticks to pasta.
Sold his car for gas money.
Solid concrete from the eyebrows backwards.
Some Assembly Required.
Some bugs in his software.
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just
gargled.
Some of her inodes have nodded off.
Some pages missing.
Somebody lend her a quarter to buy a clue.
Somebody put a stop payment order on his reality check.
Someone blew out his pilot light.
Someone else is doing the driving for that boy.
Someone forgot to plant the seed for his brain stem.
Someone let the air out of her lock.
Someone Reverend Spooner would have identified as a
shining wit.
Sort of like an inverse Einstein.
Source code is missing a few lines.
Speaks math/FORTRAN better than English.
Spent a decade on the leading edge of drug
experimentation.
Stares at frozen juice cans because they say,
"concentrate".
Still boots to DOS.
Still cutting with rounded scissors.
Still sending messages with his secret decoder ring.
Still struggling up the evolutionary ladder.
Still traumatized from the forest fire in
"Bambi".
Still trying to figure out opposable thumbs.
Strolling through life with one shoelace untied.
Stumped by anything child-proof.
Suffers from Clue Deficit Disorder.
Suffers from excessive headspace.
Suffers from Paralysis by Analysis.
Supports nativist theories that man is formed from
clay.
Surfing in Nebraska.
Surfing the Web with a hard-copy terminal. (Does anyone
remember those?)
Suspend switch is jumpered.
Switch is on, but no one's receiving.
T minus dumb and counting.
Takes her 1.5 hours to watch "60 Minutes".
Takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
Takes his imagination out for a walk and ends up being
dragged around the block by it.
Talking with her is a career-limiting move.
Talking with him is a waste of good bandwidth.
Talks to plants on their own level.
Tall as a post and just as smart.
Team player... No chance he'll develop a
personality on his own.
Technically sound, but socially impossible.
Teflon brain -- nothing sticks. -- Lilly Tomlin
Ten to the dozen.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr. Brain has
long since departed.
The fan is working but the freon's leaked out.
The fire is going well, but the flue is closed.
The going got weird, and he turned pro.
The heater's plugged in but the rheostat's
shot.
The perfect personality to write software manuals.
The recesses of his mind are always in recess.
The result of years of careful inbreeding.
The sharpest thing he's allowed to play with is a
red rubber ball.
The space between his ears powers vacuum pumps.
The spit valve's fallen off his trumpet again.
The twinkle in his eyes is actually the sun shining
between his ears.
The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead.
The world's foremost collector of ignorance.
There are great people in the world, but she's not
one of them.
There she sits, Finite State Automation at its best.
There's biscuits on the griddle but the stove
ain't on.
They had to burn down the school to get her out of
third grade.
They must have done a clean boot on him.
They never shut up on his planet.
Thick as a brick / whale omelette.
Thick as pig dung and twice as smelly.
Thinks "Private Enterprise" means owning a
personal starship.
Thinks a permutation is a medical procedure.
Thinks at 5 baud.
Thinks cellular phones are carbon-based life forms.
Thinks Cheerios are doughnut seeds.
Thinks E=MC^2 is a rap star.
Thinks everyone else is entitled to his opinion, like
it or not.
thinks in lower case & types accordingly
Thinks in one-syllable words.
Thinks like a boar hog looks at a wristwatch.
Thinks male zebras are the ones with the black stripes.
Thinks Moby Dick is a kind of venereal disease.
Thinks Taco Bell is where you pay for your phone calls
to Mexico.
Thirteen short of a dozen.
Throws his rod and reel off the bridge when casting. (I
resemble that remark. -- editor)
To make him laugh on Saturday, tell him a joke on
Wednesday.
Tone arm is down but no music is playing.
Too dumb to be bothered when publicly displaying her
ignorance.
Too dumb to know when you're getting smart /
playing dumb with him.
Too many bad drugs, not enough good drugs.
Too many birds on her antenna.
Too many jokers and not enough aces in his deck.
Too many stop bits in his transmissions.
Too much yardage between the goal posts.
Too pointless to even be called a pinhead.
Top paddock is full of rocks.
Toys in the attic.
Train of thought derailed / still boarding at the
station / has no caboose.
Traveling faster than light, but left his sneakers
behind.
Traveling without a passport/towel.
Tried welding two 2x4s together and burned down his
house.
Tries to forward this list to some friends, but instead
ships six copies of it to the editor (groan).
Trips over cordless phones.
Truck can't haul a full load.
Truly believes "neural network" is a new Ted
Turner enterprise.
Trying out for the javelin catching team.
Tuning in shortwave with a TV antenna.
Types 120 words a minute but her keyboard isn't
plugged in.
Unclear which of Newton's three laws of motion
keeps his ears apart.
Understands English as well as any parrot.
Used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Uses his head best for rolling Easter eggs.
Uses his head to keep the rain out of his neck.
Uses thumbtacks to post notes -- on his refrigerator.
Uses two hands to eat with chopsticks.
Using a 1S-2D floppy for brains in a world of hard
disks.
Validates my inherent mistrust of strangers.
Vegitatum davenportae. (Couch potato.)
Views mold as a higher life form.
Waiting on a toaster that's not plugged in.
Warning: Objects in her mirror are dumber than they
appear.
Warranty expired.
Was assimilated by the Borg.
Was born an acrobat but landed on his head.
Was born when the planets were misaligned.
Was first in line for brains, but ended up holding the
door open.
Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
Was napping in the nut pile the day God was cracking
nuts.
Wasn't fully debugged before being released.
Wasn't strapped in during launch.
Watches "Beavis and Butthead" to learn
vocabulary.
Watching programs not listed in TV Guide.
We're all missing cards from our decks -- and
different cards, too.
We're all refreshed and challenged by her unique
point of view.
Went in for repairs but wasn't tightened with a
torque wrench.
Went to the dentist to have his cranial cavity filled.
When a thought crosses her mind, it's a long and
lonely journey.
When God said, "Come forth for brains," he
came fifth.
When he collects his thoughts, they fit in a very small
container. -- Bob Thaves
When he was compiled they forgot to #include
<smarts.h>/<iq.h>/<charm.h>.
When her window of opportunity opened, she had the
shade drawn.
When opportunity knocked, she refused to open the door.
When they handed out brains he got the short end of the
stick / was at the end of the line.
When they said "drain", he thought they said
"brain".
Where it says, "Sign here", she writes,
"Pisces".
While he was not dumber than an ox, he wasn't any
smarter. -- Thurber
Whole lotta choppin', but no chips a flyin'.
Wise as the world is flat.
Won't eat eggs because he believes the "This
is your brain" ads.
Works well when under constant supervision and cornered
like a rat in a trap.
Would need help to drool.
Would starve to death in a grocery store.
Wouldn't make any sense if she ever made sense.
Wouldn't recognize a clue if he saw one / you
showed him one (labelled "clue").
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