Be Nice to Men

He does not have a beer gut,: He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.
He is not quiet,: He is a Conversational Minimalist.
He is not stupid,: He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.
He does not get lost all the time,: He discovers Alternative Destinations.
He is not balding,: He is in Follicle Regression.
He is not a cradle robber,: He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.
He does not get falling-down drunk,: He becomes Accidentally Horizontal.
He is not short,: He is Anatomically Compact.
He does not have a rich daddy,: He is a Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion.
He does not constantly talk about cars,: He has a Vehicular Addiction.
He does not have a hot body,: He is Physically Combustible.
He is not unsophisticated,: He is Socially Challenged.
He does not eat like a pig,: He suffers from Reverse Bulimia.
He is not a bad dancer,: He is Overly Caucasian.
He is not a sex machine,: He is Romantically Automated.
He does not hog the blankets,: He is Thermally Unappreciative.
He is not a male chauvinist pig,: He has Swine Empathy.
He does not undress you with his eyes,: He has an Introspective Pornographic Moment.
He is not afraid of commitment,: He is Monogamously Challenged.
He is not crazy,: He is(like the fool who runs this site)Sanity Challenged

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How to talk about men and still be politically correct