Way to Handle Stress
Author(s) Unknown - I claim no credit
- Jam 39 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
- Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa bill.
- Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
- When someone says, "Have a nice day," tell them you have other plans.
- Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
- Forget the Diet Center and send yourself a candygram.
- Make a list of things that you've already done.
- Dance naked in front of your pets.
- Put your toddler's clothes on him backwards and send him off to preschool as if nothing was wrong.
- Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman numerals.
- Tattoo "out to lunch" on your forehead.
- Tape pictures of your boss to watermelons and launch them from high places.
- Leaf through National Geographic and draw underwear on the natives.
- Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
- Buy a subscription to Sleezoid Weekly and send it to your boss' wife.
- Pay your electric bill in pennies.
- Drive to work in reverse.
- Relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of the "Flintstones" during that important finance meeting.
- Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.
- Refresh yourself. Put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail.
- Tell your boss to blow it out at his mule and let him figure it out.
- Polish your car with ear wax.
- Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
- Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
- Bill your doctor for the time spent in his waiting room.
- Braid the hairs in each nostril.
- Write a short story, using alphabet soup.
- Lie on your back eating celery....using your navel as a salt dipper.
- Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
- Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend that you're in jail. Scream, "Let me out!!!!"
- Make up a language and ask people for directions.
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