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1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects
2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth
3. Job interfering with your drinking.
4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
5. Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
6. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
7. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
8. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence??
9. Two hands and just one mouth...
10. "Norm!" is what they say when you enter the bar.
11. When you can focus better with one eye closed
12. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar
13. Every woman you see has an exact twin.
14. You wake up to find Windows 95 installed on your machine.
15. If you keep asking your wife "where are the kids?" but you don't really have a wife. She’s really your couch. Plus you have nothing but beer
16. You fall off the floor...
17. Discover the next morning liquid cleaning supplies have mysteriously disappeared
18. Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
19. You Had "Spuds McKenzie" tattoo removed, replaced it with "Red Dog."
20. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
21. Beer: its not just for breakfast anymore.
22. The glass keeps missing your mouth!
23. Pat Buchanan starts to make sense
24. When you go to donate blood and they ask what proof??
25. Vampires catch a buzz after attacking you [also mosquitoes!]
26. Only drinking problem is not having a drink right now
27. At AA meeting you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
28. Your idea of cutting back is less seltzer
29. When vomiting becomes a relief
30. Having a hard time staying on the side walk - left, right stumble fall
31. You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, and your asleep clothed.
32. The whole bar says "Hi" when you come in...
33. You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Women.
34. Every night you’re beginning to find your roommates cat more and more attractive.
35. Hi ocifer. I’m not under the affluence of incohol.
36. I’m not drunk... you’re just sober...
37. Problem? I Drink, I get Drunk, I Fall down....No Problem.
38. If you’re on a diet, you cut back your food calories to allow for alcohol calories
39. Even Johnny stops doing jokes about your drinking.
40. The bourbon bottles empty...that’s the problem! - Hey...lets go get some more!
41. Find yourself as the captain of the Exxon Valdez.
42. When the bar owner actually carved your name onto your own barstool
43. Roseanne looks good.
44. Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass
45. You LIKE to watch Barney because you’re so drunk already!
46. That dang pink elephant followed you home again.
47. You find yourself actually enjoying the food at that all night greasy spoon!!!!
48. The Whisky Ainpit Working Anymoer
49. Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you

Lists
Coffee Addiction	Politically Correct Men	Stress Relief	Alcoholics
Bread Problems	Understanding men	Politically Correct kids	Describing some people
Truths From Dad	Famous Last Words	Bathroom Scale	One Liners
Dating Rules	Slacker Rules	Time Sheet Codes	CW McCall
Computer Humor
Disclaimer	Computer Manual	Microsloshed Walls XP	Diskette Care & Usage
Computer Proverbs	Murphy's Laws	Annoy people	Useing the Usenet
	Computer Lab Tricks
Essays
Photon mass	Dr. Seuss	Overworked?	Night Before..	Helpful Grandson
Inspirational
Talking to God	Friends	Angels	More Angels
	The (new)23rd Psalm	Country Church

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